bedrest thoughts

Happy New Year!! Still trying to wrap my mind around it now being 2014. And it's weird to think that the holidays are officially over... boo! I have a lot to catch up on.
 
Initially, I was just going to sit down tonight to blog about the babies turning one (back in November! ...see, I'm really behind), but then I was filled with a bunch of different thoughts, and some that I felt I really wanted to put into words. I enjoy having this blog as a place to go back and read about our family's journey... and the thoughts I've been having are about a big part of that journey.

Leading up to Charlotte and Grady turning one, I kept thinking about where we were a year ago. September 20th of this year was a particularly emotional day remembering being admitted into the hospital and the heaviness of that situation. I knew going into my pregnancy and after learning that I was carrying two babies, that I was probably going to end up on bedrest at some point. But never in my realm of thinking would I have imagined that point was going to be so early.

When thinking about that day, the things that come to my mind are:

.. sitting in the waiting room, happy and excited about my 24(ish) week appointment

.. the look on Dr. Porter's face as he realized what was going on

.. calling Bryce and barely being able to get through the short conversation telling him to get to the hospital

.. being wheeled into my L&D room, changing into my gown, poked a bunch of times to get IV access

.. Bryce getting there and breaking down together

.. Nolan coming to help Bryce give me a Priesthood blessing

.. being put on magnesium to help the babies' neural development

.. a NICU specialist telling us that the odds of survival were about 40% and if they did survive, 88% likelihood of severe long term effects.

After that, I really don't remember too much of my first day in the hospital. I remember some of my family coming by, but because of the effects of the magnesium, I was pretty wiped out and not very presentl. And I think I was just trying to put every ounce of my being into protecting those babies. I was miserable, but I wanted to fight for them.

And boy, did we fight! This year, as each day passed between September 20th and November 20th, I kept reflecting on my hospital experience.

...I was still in the hospital ... I was still eating hospital food ... and going for NSTs every couple of days ... and being woken up at all hours of the night, every night ... and now is about when I was decorating for Halloween ... and then for Thanksgiving ......... and I was still pregnant...

As traumatic as that experience was, and as lonely as I felt, day after day of being secluded in a tiny hospital room, and as discouraged as I felt at some points, of course those long days and weeks were worth it- one hundred times over! I know I was filled with strength from my Heavenly Father and that countless prayers were being heard and answered. And I know miracles were happening in that hospital room.

Looking back, I have this deep impression that Charlotte and Grady probably wouldn't have made it if they were born so early. When they came at 33.5 weeks, they weighed what a baby normally does at 30 weeks. They were so tiny, I can only imagine what 24.5 weeks would have been like.

Thankfully, I'll never have to know.

I look at Charlotte and Grady now, a year later, and I really couldn't feel more blessed! I can't even put into words how much I love those two crazy babies. They were meant to be in our family, and I'm so proud of the four of us for making it to this point together. We now have one year down, and I'm anxious to see what this next year will bring us!


.....and now for some happy babies.....

  Giggles from Lauren Hoffman on Vimeo.