November 20th marked exactly two months of being on strict hospital bedrest. I was completely over the whole thing. But the end was in sight.... after talking with my doctor, we decided that November 26th would be the day that we welcomed our babies. They would be just over 34 weeks, and would be old enough and healthy enough to be delivered.
There were several reasons for scheduling it even that early- I had been having contractions every day that were steadily getting stronger and more frequent, I had been dilated 4 cm for two months, and lastly, one of the baby's amniotic sacs was bulging through that entire time, putting them both at high risk for infection. Dr. Porter and the other MFM doctors said that the short-term outcomes for babies this early would be longer time in the newborn ICU, but great long-term outcomes. If we waited to deliver and I got an infection, the long-term outcomes would be affected. SO... November 26th it was.
Turns out, the babies had other plans.
November 20th was a Tuesday, and I was scheduled for my millionth non-stress test. I went downstairs, the nurse found the membrane separating the babies, measured the fluid levels, and then hooked me up to the usual monitors that record contractions and heart rates.
My contractions had been very predictable for the previous month or so... they almost always came when I was positioned on my back. So every time I went for a non-stress test, those contractions bumped on the screen.
That morning, I hadn't really felt any contractions until the monitoring started, then they instantly came on, except this time they were super strong... probably the tightest I'd ever felt. Within the first ten minutes, I had several contractions, but the thing that got the nurse's attention was that baby boy's heart rate fell with a couple of them. With that, they decided to send me down to labor and delivery for more monitoring. I texted Bryce to let him know... Luckily, it was still early and he hadn't left the hospital for the day yet and came down to sit with me. We both really didn't think anything was legitimately happening, though. We had been in the hospital so long, sat through so many strings of contractions, finally had a delivery date set... this wasn't happening for real.
The nurses and doctors were coming in and out, doing more tests, gave me a double dose of the medicaiton that usually stops my contractions. This time my contractions weren't stopping, though. In fact, they were getting stronger and more painful and accompanied by more pressure. The doctors started talking to me about the mode of delivery... Baby boy was breech, and with his estimated weight being too low for a breech extraction after baby girl was born first, they said they'd want to do a c-section. I had prepared myself for this (cuz that naughty boy was breech for most of my pregnancy), so that wasn't a too hard of a decision to make. Still, though... did we really need to be discussing this already?
Dr. Porter (my primary/great doctor) came in a couple hours after I had been taken to L&D. He took a long look at my monitoring, was silent for a minute, then looked at me and said, "I think this is it, I don't think those babies are going to wait until Monday." Bryce and I still couldn't believe this was actually going to happen, but the butterflies started coming.
By this time, it was about 1:30, and I sent Bryce to get some lunch.
Not five minutes later, the nurse came in and stated, "We're going to move you into one of the actual labor and delivery rooms," (I had been in triage to evaluate if this was the real deal or not), "and then we're just waiting for the OR nurse to come take you back." Um, excuse me?? haha I didn't know the final decision had been made! That's when I realized this was seriously happening, and I got super nervous... I didn't have time to prepare! But I guess maybe that was a good thing, I couldn't freak myself out too much. So now that I thought I was going to the operating room any minute, I was about to call Bryce and tell him to come right back when Dr. Porter came in and said that we were actually going to do the c-section at 5pm. So I resisted the urge to call Bryce and tried to relax between contractions.
As I sat there in bed, feeling my body prepare for the babies, I tried to soak it all in. This time, I wasn't afraid for them. I was ready, and I knew they were ready. It was still early, but it was just so crazy to me that we had lasted all this time, finally scheduled the delivery when things were expected to be safe... just 6 days away... and then my body decided okay, now this can happen.
I tried to memorize the feeling of their last little kicks inside me and the feel of their baby parts poking out. It may seem weird, but I'd always looked forward to being pregnant. And as hard as this pregnancy turned out to be, I still cherished the experience.
Bryce came back after lunch, and I told him this was it- we only had a couple hours before the babies would be here. We both got so excited and even more anxious.
Nolan, my brother-in-law, was so nice to leave work and come to the hospital to help Bryce give me a Priesthood blessing. It brought me back to the first day I was admitted to the hospital when the two of them gave me a blessing at that time... little tears of happiness came to my eyes feeling so thankful that this time was under such better circumstances.
My contractions continued to get stronger, and I was glad to know that I only had to bear it until 5 o'clock. It was actually good to experience this side of labor, though, as it helped me feel more connected to the process.
Just after 4:00, we were moved to the L&D room, the nurse gave Bryce his sexy OR suit and ran through everything with me, the anesthesiologist came in to talk about the spinal block, and then before we knew it, 5:00 arrived and it was go-time.
They took me back and I got my spinal placed while laying on the operating table. It was the strangest sensation ever to be completely numb from the chest down... they warned me it might be a little hard to breathe, and it was, which kind of weirded me out even more, but I tried not to focus on that. They brought Bryce in, and everyone was hustling and bustling around us getting ready. Bryce was so good and gave me some encouraging words as the doctors announced they were starting.
...Such a surreal moment to be behind the curtain, knowing they were opening me up and I was about to meet my babies for the first time...
...5:14 p.m. - Charlotte Rose Hoffman is born...
I heard that little cry before I saw her, and tears instantly started rolling down both Bryce's and my cheeks. Best thing ever.
...5:15 p.m. - Grady Aaron Hoffman is born...
More happy tears :)
Although the babies were expected to do well, they were still more than 6 weeks early, and had to be whisked away through a window in the operating room into the NICU. That was strange for me... I saw my babies for only a split second over the curtain before they were taken to be cared for by the team of doctors and nurses and respiratory therapists. I felt sad that I couldn't have that normal experience of seeing and snuggling my babes right away and sharing their first moments of life together. But I knew they were okay, and that's what really mattered.
After the babies were born, it took only 15 minutes for them to finish up with me. Bryce and I were amazed at the speed of the whole thing. Those 15 minutes felt like a long time to me, though... having the spinal and being on other medications made me feel really weird, plus all I wanted to do was sleep. It took everything I had not to close my eyes and drift off.
Afterward, they took me back to the L&D recovery room. They came and got Bryce right away and he was able to go to the NICU to see the babies. Meanwhile, I made a few groggy phone calls to family to let them know Grady and Charlotte were finally here. Then it was time to go back to my regular room. Bryce came back all smiles to say the babies were doing really well and so cute... he said they were tiny and looked like dolls, both weighing exactly the same at 3 lb 3 oz. I was so happy.
{meeting Charlotte}
.......
{meeting Grady}
My mom, Corie, and Kevin all came to the hospital and were excited when Bryce said he could take them down to the NICU to see the babies. I felt bummed that I couldn't go too, but my legs were still very numb, and the nurse told me I couldn't go down until the anesthesia wore off.
So when 1:30 a.m. rolled around and it was time for my pain meds, they brought a wheelchair after I insisted I was up for a visit to finally see my babies. That first meeting is a little bit of a blur as the anesthesia and other meds were still wearing off, plus I was exhausted from the day's events. But I clearly remember feeling a great sense of happiness and such love for these two precious little ones. I just couldn't believe they were mine!
It was a short visit, only a half hour allowed by my nurse, but it was perfect. Grady and Charlotte were perfect.
I couldn't stop staring at them, trying to take it all in to last me through the rest of the night and when I could see them again.
The babies are now almost a month old, and I still can't stop staring.
They're doing amazingly well, in fact, they're both home with us now... yay!!
...more on that soon.
In summary, we are so in love.
Best day ever.
That morning, I hadn't really felt any contractions until the monitoring started, then they instantly came on, except this time they were super strong... probably the tightest I'd ever felt. Within the first ten minutes, I had several contractions, but the thing that got the nurse's attention was that baby boy's heart rate fell with a couple of them. With that, they decided to send me down to labor and delivery for more monitoring. I texted Bryce to let him know... Luckily, it was still early and he hadn't left the hospital for the day yet and came down to sit with me. We both really didn't think anything was legitimately happening, though. We had been in the hospital so long, sat through so many strings of contractions, finally had a delivery date set... this wasn't happening for real.
The nurses and doctors were coming in and out, doing more tests, gave me a double dose of the medicaiton that usually stops my contractions. This time my contractions weren't stopping, though. In fact, they were getting stronger and more painful and accompanied by more pressure. The doctors started talking to me about the mode of delivery... Baby boy was breech, and with his estimated weight being too low for a breech extraction after baby girl was born first, they said they'd want to do a c-section. I had prepared myself for this (cuz that naughty boy was breech for most of my pregnancy), so that wasn't a too hard of a decision to make. Still, though... did we really need to be discussing this already?
Dr. Porter (my primary/great doctor) came in a couple hours after I had been taken to L&D. He took a long look at my monitoring, was silent for a minute, then looked at me and said, "I think this is it, I don't think those babies are going to wait until Monday." Bryce and I still couldn't believe this was actually going to happen, but the butterflies started coming.
By this time, it was about 1:30, and I sent Bryce to get some lunch.
Not five minutes later, the nurse came in and stated, "We're going to move you into one of the actual labor and delivery rooms," (I had been in triage to evaluate if this was the real deal or not), "and then we're just waiting for the OR nurse to come take you back." Um, excuse me?? haha I didn't know the final decision had been made! That's when I realized this was seriously happening, and I got super nervous... I didn't have time to prepare! But I guess maybe that was a good thing, I couldn't freak myself out too much. So now that I thought I was going to the operating room any minute, I was about to call Bryce and tell him to come right back when Dr. Porter came in and said that we were actually going to do the c-section at 5pm. So I resisted the urge to call Bryce and tried to relax between contractions.
As I sat there in bed, feeling my body prepare for the babies, I tried to soak it all in. This time, I wasn't afraid for them. I was ready, and I knew they were ready. It was still early, but it was just so crazy to me that we had lasted all this time, finally scheduled the delivery when things were expected to be safe... just 6 days away... and then my body decided okay, now this can happen.
I tried to memorize the feeling of their last little kicks inside me and the feel of their baby parts poking out. It may seem weird, but I'd always looked forward to being pregnant. And as hard as this pregnancy turned out to be, I still cherished the experience.
Bryce came back after lunch, and I told him this was it- we only had a couple hours before the babies would be here. We both got so excited and even more anxious.
Nolan, my brother-in-law, was so nice to leave work and come to the hospital to help Bryce give me a Priesthood blessing. It brought me back to the first day I was admitted to the hospital when the two of them gave me a blessing at that time... little tears of happiness came to my eyes feeling so thankful that this time was under such better circumstances.
My contractions continued to get stronger, and I was glad to know that I only had to bear it until 5 o'clock. It was actually good to experience this side of labor, though, as it helped me feel more connected to the process.
Just after 4:00, we were moved to the L&D room, the nurse gave Bryce his sexy OR suit and ran through everything with me, the anesthesiologist came in to talk about the spinal block, and then before we knew it, 5:00 arrived and it was go-time.
They took me back and I got my spinal placed while laying on the operating table. It was the strangest sensation ever to be completely numb from the chest down... they warned me it might be a little hard to breathe, and it was, which kind of weirded me out even more, but I tried not to focus on that. They brought Bryce in, and everyone was hustling and bustling around us getting ready. Bryce was so good and gave me some encouraging words as the doctors announced they were starting.
...Such a surreal moment to be behind the curtain, knowing they were opening me up and I was about to meet my babies for the first time...
...5:14 p.m. - Charlotte Rose Hoffman is born...
I heard that little cry before I saw her, and tears instantly started rolling down both Bryce's and my cheeks. Best thing ever.
...5:15 p.m. - Grady Aaron Hoffman is born...
More happy tears :)
Although the babies were expected to do well, they were still more than 6 weeks early, and had to be whisked away through a window in the operating room into the NICU. That was strange for me... I saw my babies for only a split second over the curtain before they were taken to be cared for by the team of doctors and nurses and respiratory therapists. I felt sad that I couldn't have that normal experience of seeing and snuggling my babes right away and sharing their first moments of life together. But I knew they were okay, and that's what really mattered.
After the babies were born, it took only 15 minutes for them to finish up with me. Bryce and I were amazed at the speed of the whole thing. Those 15 minutes felt like a long time to me, though... having the spinal and being on other medications made me feel really weird, plus all I wanted to do was sleep. It took everything I had not to close my eyes and drift off.
Afterward, they took me back to the L&D recovery room. They came and got Bryce right away and he was able to go to the NICU to see the babies. Meanwhile, I made a few groggy phone calls to family to let them know Grady and Charlotte were finally here. Then it was time to go back to my regular room. Bryce came back all smiles to say the babies were doing really well and so cute... he said they were tiny and looked like dolls, both weighing exactly the same at 3 lb 3 oz. I was so happy.
{meeting Charlotte}
.......
{meeting Grady} My mom, Corie, and Kevin all came to the hospital and were excited when Bryce said he could take them down to the NICU to see the babies. I felt bummed that I couldn't go too, but my legs were still very numb, and the nurse told me I couldn't go down until the anesthesia wore off.
So when 1:30 a.m. rolled around and it was time for my pain meds, they brought a wheelchair after I insisted I was up for a visit to finally see my babies. That first meeting is a little bit of a blur as the anesthesia and other meds were still wearing off, plus I was exhausted from the day's events. But I clearly remember feeling a great sense of happiness and such love for these two precious little ones. I just couldn't believe they were mine!
It was a short visit, only a half hour allowed by my nurse, but it was perfect. Grady and Charlotte were perfect.
I couldn't stop staring at them, trying to take it all in to last me through the rest of the night and when I could see them again.
The babies are now almost a month old, and I still can't stop staring.
They're doing amazingly well, in fact, they're both home with us now... yay!!
...more on that soon.
In summary, we are so in love.
Best day ever.
1 comment:
they are beautiful!
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